Texas Bar-B-Que House

                  

8/15/14 12:17 - I am starting to notice a trend here.  Houston Greeks are really bad at Texas BBQ. They took over the restaurant back in 1983.  The joint dates back to the 1960's.  They serve both BBQ and home style meals.

I scored Texas Bar-B-Que House a 71 out of 100.  This is Bum Steer BBQ.

                                

Smoke:  Mesquite and Hickory.  An ancient Oyler is beneath the smoke stack.  Owner says its the "original" and dates back to 1946.  She claims she has the "papers".  I think she was implying this was the original in Houston.  Not sure exactly what she has.  She may be mistaken about the date. The patent for Oyler was filed in 1968.  The first pits were named Lean-To Smokehouse Ovens and built by the inventor Herbert J Oyler. Mr Oyler died in 1973.  Since she has "papers" one can assumed this was a purchased item.  She may have an original Lean-To Smokehouse built by Herbert J Oyler and that would be very very cool.

                      

Brisket: Fair.  An 1/8 in smoke ring beneath a thin bark.  Overcooked and crumbled under the fork.  Could not detect a rub, the only flavors were beef and smoke.  Very dry.  Use the sauce.

Ribs:  Good.  Served one spare rib cut into two halves. Nice pink smoke ring beneath a bronze bark.  Bite required some tearing and ate tough of tender.  There was a fabulous black pepper seasoning.  Great smoke and great flavor.  No sauce needed.  Best item on the plate.

Sausage:  Fair.  You cant really taste filler but you can recognized its texture.  This sausage had a lot of filler.  It had mild spice flavor and very little after taste.  Smoke was very mild also.  Use the sauce.

Sauce:  Very Good.  A thick tangy sweet dark red sauce that can cover up some bland meats.

Waller County Line BBQ

                                

7/28/14 11:46am - This place sure knows how to pull in the clients flying down Hwy 290.  Bright signage, big black steel pits and blue smoke.  No doubt they are serving wood fired barbecue.  My advise is to keep on driving.  You are not missing out on anything.

I scored Waller County Line BBQ a 67 out of 100.  This is Bum Steer BBQ.

What are they used for?

                                

Smoke:  Oak.  Under the banner "The Pit Crew" is a fenced off area with big black steel pits.  Large stack of Oak wood.  The billowing blue smoke leaves no doubt this is wood fired something.

No smoke ring, nada!

                                   

Brisket:  Poor.  No smoke ring.  No bark.  My first thought was "Did they cut it off?"  Closer examination revealed it was never there to begin with.  Pre-sliced big hunks of brown beef.  It look like roast beef and ate like roast beef.  Are the pits for show?  Overcooked way past tender, it dried up and crumbled on my plate all by itself. One of the worst excuses for Texas Brisket I have ever had.  Drown the plate in sauce. They should refuse any requests for sauce on the side. They should only sell chopped beef.  Hell they should just take brisket off the menu.

Ribs:  Fair.  A thin spare rib with zero smoke ring.  There was a paper thin bark and grey pork beneath.  I had to wait a little in line as they did not have any ribs ready to serve.  First bite was cold!  Yep, these are re-heated left over ribs!  You have to try to be this bad.  They were overcooked past tender and dry.  They had a rubbery texture from spending the night in the frig.  Little flavor except pork.  Little smoke again begs the question "What is inside those pits!?".  Use the sauce and demand your ribs are re-heated fully.

Sausage:  Very Good.  A course ground mostly beef link.  Great traditional spice with mild after taste.  A great smokey dark casing (Oh! the pits are for the sausage, I get it now).  No sauce needed.  Get the one meat plate and save some money.

Sauce:   Very Good.  I guess Waller is too close to Houston because they follow the Houston formula: Great Sauce + average BBQ = Houston BBQ. They serve two sauces, one mild and one spicy.   They are equally great.  The mild is a thick tangy sweet ketchup based sauce that could make liver taste great.  It coats the meats well and hides how bad the BBQ is here.  The spicy sauce has a little heat and its a little thinner than the mild.  Use either one generously and drown the whole plate.

Used to keep warm

                                  

                                 



Demeris Bar-B-Q

3/17/14 12:51pm - This is classic Houston BBQ which is a metaphor for mediocre.  I have lived in this fair city for 20 plus years and over that time I have had a few plates of Demeris barbecue either at their Shepard location or catered events.  I proclaim it classic Houston BBQ because I have eaten this same bland plate of roasted meats covered in sauce all over Houston for the last 20 years. Demeris is one of the big names in Houston BBQ.  They have been around since 1964 so they are part of the blame for 4 lost Houston decades of serving this sauce covered roast beef. This is a new location but actually a relocation from a strip center that was torn down for the Hwy 290 expansion.

I scored Demeris a 70 out of 100.  This is classic Houston Bum Steer BBQ.

Smoke:  Hickory.  At this location the smoker is walled off like Fort Knox.  There is a smoke stack (been fooled before) but not a stack of wood in sight.  The smoker is not visible from the cafeteria line.  I know that JR Manufacturing lists Demeris as a client. Wood or Gasser? Who knows.  I trust JR so I'll go with wood fired which makes this plate of BBQ even more sad.

Brisket:  Fair.  1/8 in smoke ring beneath a paper thin bark (gasser?).  Mild faint smoke.  Tested tough of tender.  No detectable rub flavor.  Its a slice of roast beef.  Use the sauce.

Ribs:  Fair.  Get the toothpicks.  This spare rib was chewy tough.  Lots a tearing and dirty bone.  Mild faint smoke.  No detectable rub left.  Use the sauce.

Sausage:  Fair.  A course ground beef link with herb seasoning.  It was like combining Central Texas, East Texas and Czech.  It did not work.  It was very dry.  No after taste.  Little smoke.  Use the sauce.

Sauce:  Good.  A thick tomato base mild sweet sauce.  It was buttery.  It was served warm and developed a skin like queso cheese.  Nice.  Everything thing here needs sauce so just have them drown the plate.

 

 



Backyard Smokehouse

1/30/14 11:41am - This is an American fare restaurant that also serves BBQ.  The previous tenant was a restaurant that served steaks and barbecue.  The kitchen may have come equipped with a gas fired commercial smoker for the new tenant.  So why not add barbecue to the menu along with 58 other items?  The owner has chosen image over substance.  The restaurant is clearly not presented as a traditional BBQ joint but it does borrow the image of one.  The menu section for BBQ is labeled "From the Pit".  The entrees are individually named with predetermined meat choices.  For example you cannot order a 3 meat plate, but you can order an overprice entree called "The Defender".  Image over substance.

I scored Backyard Smokehouse a 65 out of 100.  This is Bum Steer BBQ.

 
Smoke:  Pecan/cherry.  Not a stick in site is a bad sign.  There is no smoke stack.  I did see an exhaust vent typically used for gas ovens.  No wood fired BBQ here.  No doubt, its a gasser.  There is a trailer mounted steel barrel smoker taking up valuable parking space.  No licence plate and a 1/8in of dust inside, so its obviously for show.  Image over substance. 

Brisket:  Good.  Smoke Ring nearly invisible but I measured it at 1/16in  Tested tough of tender.  Had a nice rub.  Mild smoke.  Use a knife and use the sauce.

Ribs: Poor.  Baby back ribs served "wet".  They were chewy tough and cooked too fast.  A salt bomb rub beneath a pasty dried out sauce.  Smoke or burnt, I couldn't tell.  Use the sauce or skip all together.

Sausage:  Good.  A course ground pork 6in link with bold traditional spice and strong pepper aftertaste.  Its split and thrown on the grill.  I liked the grill marks but it dried out the link.  It had mild smoke flavor.  Best item on the plate.  Use the sauce.

Sauce:  Good.  A commercial grade purchased sauce with restaurant label.  Kansas City style sweet and tangy.  Ketchup based with brown sugar and vinegar.  There is no attempt to hide this purchased product.  Image over substance.  Use it on everything.

You cannot be half hearted when it comes to Texas Barbecue. Even with a commercial gas oven some skill and TLC is still required.  This concept could not exist without a gas fired commercial smoker.  Another reason to hate gasser BBQ.

 

 

 

Brisket Bar B Q

11/15/13 - Never judge a book by its cover.  When you enter the parking lot, you think "this place has to be good".  Its a stand alone structure with an old vintage look.  Tin roof, smoke stack, cedar and limestone finishes.  Unfortunately, it all goes down hill from there.

I scored Brisket Bar B Q a 71 out of 100.  This is Bum Steer BBQ

 

Smoke:  Large stacks of hickory behind a CMU block smoke house with rusted smoke stack reaching to the sky.  Looks like an Olyer and all the signs of wood fired BBQ.  This is the first wood fired Bum Steer rating.  Since I spot wood fire 5 points, this is worst than most gassers.

 

Brisket:  Good.  A 1/4" smoke ring beneath a smokey chewy bark.  Tested tough of tender. Even the fat was tough.  It dried out fast.  Need a good set of teeth for this brisket.  Use the sauce.

Ribs: Fair.  Tough and chewy.  Had a good rub, smoke and salty pork flavor.  Need a better set of teeth for these ribs.  Maybe they should go all the way and sell jerky.  Use the sauce.

Sausage:  Fair.  A fine ground salty pork link.  Casing was chewy.  Tasted like greasy Bologna. Use the sauce.

Sauce:  Fair.  A thick clumpy tangy brown sauce.  Flavor was mild buttery tomato soup.  Everything here needs sauce but they need a new sauce here.  Bring your own.

 

 

Big Daddy's BBQ

8/30/13 11:50am - Is it considered community service for me to eat such bad BBQ so you don't have to?  I have had some bad 'que in my day but this was a new low. 

I scored Big Daddy's BBQ a 61 out 100.  This is some serious Bum Steer BBQ.

Smoke:  No sign of a smoker or a stick of wood. I could not see a visible gasser.  I wonder if they even cook onsite. I drove behind the strip center and could only identify the walk in freezer.  I ask the server what kind of wood they use, he shrugs his shoulders and replies. "Mesquite, I think". 

Brisket:  Poor.  No smoke ring, nada.  Thin bitter bark. Overcooked and crumble dry.  The brisket slices literally disintegrated into chop beef on the plate. Very little smoke.  It tasted like overcooked dried out roast beef.  Use the sauce or skip altogether.

Ribs:  Poor.  The server reach for a rack out of the warmer.  It was wrapped in clear plastic.  He cut right through the plastic for my serving.  Picked up the plastic end and dumped my ribs on the cutting board. The expression "fall off the bone" is not always a good thing.  These ribs left no doubt, overcooked to the point they fell apart like pulled pork. Now I get the plastic wrap; it was the only thing that kept these ribs together.  Flavor none.  Smoke none.  It was dry pork.  Use the sauce or skip altogether.

Sausage:  Good.  Your typical pork course ground sausage with mild tradition spice and little after taster.  No smoke.  Use the sauce.

Sauce:  Very Good.  A thick dark tomato vinegar sauce sweeten by molasses and honey.  Kansas City style sauce.  This stuff could make anything taste good.  Drown the whole plate in the stuff

It's Ribs!

7/22/13 12:14pm - Well if your name is "It's ribs!" you might want to serve some tender tasty pork ribs or change your name.  I went a while back on recommendation of the beef ribs, which I would recommend.  The menu selection had the Holy Trinity, so I mad it a point to come back.

I scored It's Ribs a 70 out of 100.  This is Bum Steer BBQ but in fairness they don't market their BBQ prowess.

 

 

Smoke:  A secret, but I would guess Hickory.  There is a well used smoke stack in the back but not a stick of wood in sight.  There is no reference to wood used in their menus.  Little evidence of wood fired, so I suspect a gasser.

Brisket:  Good.  No smoke ring except on the ends.  Tough of tender, a knife was needed.  Good smoke and salty rub.  Use the sauce.

Ribs:  Poor.  If you like over cooked and charred ribs, this is the place!  The have successfully recreated your drunk uncle's backyard disaster.  A St Louis cur spared rib dry of tender.  A sticky charry black bark with a hint of burnt.  Overcooked brown through and through.  Use the sauce or just order the beef rib.

Sausage:  Good.  A fine ground pork sausage with great bacon and salt pork flavors.  A little greasy and some faint smoke.  No sauce needed.

Sauce:  Good.  A tangy strong molasses tomato vinegar based sauce.  Overall flavor was good but it overpowered the meats.

PS: Try the beef ribs.

The County Line

5/8/13 12:10pm - It has been a long time since I visited this location, it will be a long time before I return. This is typical Houston gas fired barbecue.

I scored The County Line a 68 out of 100. This is Bum Steer BBQ.

Smoke: Website says oak. Could not find a stack anywhere which would explain its absence on the barbecue. There is an embarrassing video where Paula Dean's sons help load the Southern Pride gas oven. Are you kidding me? This is their Texas barbecue experience? They should edit that stupid film and remove all references to Texas.

Brisket: Good. They got the tenderness part right. Barely 1/8in smoke ring and no bark. It was tasteless and smokeless roast beef. Use the sauce.

Ribs: Poor. You can get better pork ribs at Chili's. Seriously, I could have made these ribs in a crock pot. Use the sauce.

Sausage: Good. Nothing special. Use the sauce.

Sauce: Good. Average tomato vinegar based sauce. Drown the whole plate in it. They also had a "Pork Sauce". It was weird. My first thought was Orange Juice. The waitress confirmed it. I hated it.

Thomas Bar-B-Que

4/18/13 11:35 am - Their business card says it all "It's pretty good". At least you know what to expect.

I scored Thomas Bar-B-Q a 69 out 100. This is Bum Steer BBQ. Sausage hurt score.

Smoke: Don't know. Don't matter. Southern Pride gas oven in plain site.

Brisket: Good. Impressive 5/16in smoke ring. Not bad for gas oven. Tough of tender. Mild smoke flavor but at least it had some. No detectable rub. Use the sauce.

Ribs: Good. Tough of tender. Slight tearing and dirty bone. Overall flavor was "pretty good". Good smoke flavor. No detectable rub. Use the sauce.

Sausage: Poor. One word describes this sausage: BOLOGNA. It was pure pork, grease and salt. No spice flavor. No after taste. I was looking for the Oscar Myer label. Sauce could not even save this stuff. Skip all together.

Sauce: Very Good. Just goes to show, a great sauce can cover up a multitude of sins. Overall flavor was pleasant enough that you could spoon it like soup. It was a vinegar tangy, tomato base, Chile powder spice, with lemon flavors. Don't get it on the side, drown the whole plate.

Beef and Bun Barbecue

3/14/13 11:57am - With all the rave reviews I was hoping to find some great barbecue. I found typical Houston barbecue.

I scored Beef & Bun 72 out of 100 - This is Texas Barbecue

Smoke: Who knows. No visible stacks and not listed on menus and website. Window graphics say "Real Pit BBQ" I call bunk on that. The big black rotisserie (Olyer?) is in plain site in the kitchen. I did witness some smoke lingering in the air. I could see it but I could not taste it.

Brisket: Good. There was a faint blush of a smoke ring that was 1/4in. No knife needed, snap apart tender, but it was noticeably a little tough It goes down hill from there. Little to no smoke flavor. No rubs or anything. Another sad slice of roast beef. Use sauce and plenty of it.

Ribs: Fair. Tender clean bite and clean bone. Bland flavor. Little to no smoke flavor. Use the sauce. Thank goodness they only gave me one rib.

Sausage: Very Good. By far the best item on the plate. My first thought as I bit into this was BACON! Not sure if they use bacon but it was porky, a little salty and oh so good. Great smoke flavor just like smoked BACON! No sauce needed.

Sauce: Good. Overall flavor was average and since everything here needs sauce it did a little to help enhance the meats. Don't get it on the side, drown everything in the sauce.

PS: The Texas toast was more like tire rubber. My plate lunch came with two slices of ham and turkey. Thank goodness they were free because, they are not worth buying.

Old Hickory Inn Barbeque

2/27/13 11:14am - Maybe their other two locations serve better barbecue.

I scored Old Hickory Inn a 65 out 100. This is Bum Steer barbecue.

Smoke: Hickory. The Southern Pride rotisserie is right behind the counter in its full glory. Why hide it?

Brisket: Good. 1/8in standard rotisserie smoke ring. Snap apart tender. No knife needed. There was a decent smoke aroma and flavor. No rub detected. Use the sauce.

Ribs: Poor. They reminded me of some amateur backyard disaster. You know where you have to lie to your friend on how great his ribs are to protect his ego. They were teeny tiny 3in long ribs. Either baby ribs or they are so cheap they cut the rack in half. They were burnt. They were dry and overdone. Worst I have had in long time. Use the sauce or skip all together.

Sausage: Good. Course ground pork beef with strong traditional spice and long lasting after taste. A little greasy. Use the sauce.

Sauce: Fair. Bring you own. My first thought was this is tomato soup, not barbecue sauce. It ruined an already bad plate of barbecue. Skip all together. Too bad because everything here needs sauce.

Carl's Bar-B Que

12-10-12 12:00pm - Been eating at Carl's for years. It always satisfied my craving for barbecue. I was disappointed in the overall score but when measured against a standard, it came up short.

I scored Carls a 67 out of 100. Bum Steer Barbecue.

Smoke: Don't know. No stacks of wood visible to public. I am guessing oak. Judging by smoke ring, exhaust vent and no pit in sight, definitely rotisserie.

Brisket: Fair. The standard rotisserie 1/8in smoke ring. Was on the tough side of tender. It had smoke flavor but not full smoke. No rub detected. Overall flavor was average. Use the sauce.

Ribs: Good. Overall flavor is enhanced by generous brown sugar glaze. I could not smell or detect any smoke. It was on tough side of tender. I like sweet so no sauce needed.

Sausage: Good. Pork fine ground sausage with above average fat. Flavor was average and after taste was faint. No smoke flavor detected. Use the sauce.

Sauce: Fair. A little thick. Flavors included vinegar, lemon and maybe butter. Overall flavor was OK and it did little to enhance to flavor of the meats. Too bad because this BBQ needs some sauce.
Lack of smoke and OK sauce really hurt the score.

Longhorn Cattle Company Barbeque & Steak Restaurant

11/2/2012
Traveled to Harlingen, so took the opportunity to score a 2008 Texas Monthly top fifty BBQ joint. It was packed for lunch so it is very popular with the locals.

I scored the BBQ 62 out of 100. Bum Steer BBQ. Not exactly top fifty quality.
Sorry locals, I call them like I see them.

Its real pit barbecue smoked with mesquite. They were cutting the wood right outside the window. I guess they use it to keep warm because they did not use it to smoke the barbecue I was served.

Brisket: Poor. 0 to 1/8in smoke ring. One thing I hate about table service is you do not see them cut the brisket. If I had seen them cut my brisket i would have thrown a fit. I was served the fatty slices. You serve me junk, I'll score your junk. No smoke, no rub, no flavor. It was half fat and half brisket. Sliced bacon has more meat. It was tender only because there was little beef. A huge disappointment. Use the sauce or skip all together.

Ribs: Fair. Overall flavor was average. Slightly sweeten by honey. Again no smoke flavor or aroma. A little dry, but tender. Bite was not clean as there was a little tearing. Use the sauce.
Sausage: Fair. Very greasy, no spice, no after taste. Pork and fat was the dominant flavors. It had a little smoke flavor. Use the sauce.

Sauce: Good. Tomato based vinegar sauce. Average flavor. Don't get sauce on the side. have them drown everything in sauce.

Its always a bad sign when you finish the sides before you finish the BBQ. The sides were wonderful and the pinto bean soup was the bomb.

Burn's Bar-B-Q & Catering

6/22/2012 Correction

11/18/12 Correction: The Shepard location is not the location listed in the June 2008 issue of Texas monthly. The 8307 Depriest location is the one that made the TM top Fifty. The TM website however shows the picture and address of the Shepard location. I have heard from a fellow yelper and the owner on this matter.

I cannot believe this place made Texas Monthly top 50 for 2008. The next issue should come out next year. I will be curious if it makes the top 50 again.

I gave it a score of 69 out of possible 100. Bum Steer Barbecue.

Smoke: Oak, but you wouldn't know it. They use a real pit according to Texas Monthly but I would not be surprised if they switched to rotisserie.

Brisket: Poor. Very disappointed. There was no smoke ring! Nada! Tough and barely any smoke flavor. It was roast beef not barbecue. Use plenty of sauce or skip all together.

Pork Ribs: Good. Very good to excellent. The only thing that keeps the doors open. They were very tender and smoke flavor was faint but overall was very good. Sauce needed.

Hot Links: Great. Spicy and best item on the menu. Flavor explosion and after taste left you licking your lips for more. No sauce needed.

 
Sauce: Excellent. Tangy and a little sweet. Bottle it and drink it. Its that good. A good thing since everything here needs sauce.